Birthday 37!

Only 3 years away from 40!  It's hard to think of myself as middle-aged.  However, a good friend made a very good point this weekend.  40 is great... kids are in school, no more sleepless nights, yucky messes on the kitchen floor... at least not ones I need to clean-up.  Another friend made the comment that she loved 40 too... she had earned turning 40 & the season it brought with it!  I find myself enjoying life more as the kids get older.  I enjoy each new season that comes more than the last.  I hope the trend continues.  I hope I find myself at age 82 loving the season old age brings.  I hope I am at peace with the life I've lived and the decisions I've made.  I find myself more at peace each year.  I am grateful for the trials I've had that have helped me see clearly the important things.  I am grateful for the times that brought me to my knees & helped me build a relationship with my Heavenly Father.  Through-out the past 10 years there have been times when I have felt like something inside me broke.  First at the end of Ryan's residency, then again in Kentucky during my pregnancy with Porter & his first year of life.  I didn't think I would ever fully recover or be able to repair what had been broken.  What a blessing this past year has been for me.  As I look back and suddenly realize what had been broken somehow has been repaired... even made better.  It hit me this morning... what a wonderful birthday present.  I often joke with my sisters that motherhood takes away your sanity little by little... & there is NO getting it back.  I've been given an amazing gift this year.  A formula for regaining that lost sanity!  I do love motherhood.  I make a lot of cracks about it & it is difficult... the hardest thing I've ever done.  However, I do love being a mom.  I am grateful I have been able to find my smile this year & let it out.  It has made all the difference in the world.  2008 had it's trials but I look back on it as one of the best years ever.  2009 will bring with it a whole new set of trials... I look forward to the blessings that will come through them.  My heart is so full.  It's been a typical Sunday with the crying, complaining, & fighting.  However, as we knelt together in prayer & ended the day it was beautiful.  I chased Porter bed & filled his sippy cup of water.  Read Isabelle "Heckedy Peg".  As I walked in to Victoria's room I found her kneeling in bed saying "nice" prayers.  (She likes to talk about funny, stupid, sometimes gross things in her prayers... I got after her tonight.  I guess she wanted to have a do-over!)  Rebekah, Casey, Sam, Ryan, & I played a quick card game to end the night.  We've staggered the bedtimes.  Izy, Porter & Tori: 7pm  Casey & Rebekah: 7:30pm  Sam 8pm  We are hoping this gives us the ability to better meet the needs of each child.  Consequences have been attached for violation of said bedtimes.  The kids immediately questioned our bedtime as well as our consequences.  Ryan has his thoughts on the matter... believe me I won't be in violation of my bedtime!  Here's to another year in the books & the best birthday yet.