Thursday, October 4, 2018

Porter and I are doing pull-ups together each night.  He wants me to climb with him but I am not strong enough. Some nights are quite comical...  Hopefully, within the next 6 months, I get back into good enough shape to join him.  He's homeschooling this year.  I love having him home.  He makes me laugh!

Sunday, September 23, 2018

It’s been a whirlwind week and a half. Casey returned home from his mission Tuesday, September 11th.  We enjoyed a tumultuous week together as the stresses of life piled on. Sam, Phil, and Rebekah flew home missing 3 days of classes; Izy had 4 days of tennis due to the previous week's poor weather and homework galore; adjusting to life for Casey came in waves of differing emotions; Ryan and I hit a really rough patch and so the week unfolded. I forgot to mention Rebekah went through the Temple. Sunday arrived, and Casey gave a beautiful, heartfelt talk. Porter, Casey and I packed up the car and drove off at 5pm heading to BYU.  Sam, Phil, and Rebekah finally departed KC after a number of flight delays at 8pm.  We drove through the night arriving at 7:30am in Provo. 

We unloaded the car and set Casey’s room up the best we could. He was able to take a nap and make all of his classes. It was a bit stressful, starting out 2 weeks behind. I ran to SLC and picked up his computer. He got to work quickly and started making progress. It was a bumpy first few days. His emotions were running high, but he was trying his best to keep them under control. The week consisted of never-ending errands, appointments, to do lists and family time. It wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as getting the girls ready for school. We were trying to do all of it while Casey was trying to catch up as well as Sam, Phil, and Rebekah trying to catch up. 

The highlights were:
Eating breakfast with Porter at Magleby’s
Driving to Park City to meet the Palmer’s with Casey
Staying and talking with Sam and Phil
Rebekah opening her mission call, she’s going to the Dominican Republic.
Countless close encounters with pedestrians😳
Watching everyone climb together and laughing. 

I love our kids. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. At times it is overwhelming being their mom. The lessons God is teaching them are beyond my abilities to guide them through. I feel quite unqualified. 

During one of Casey and my conversations, we were talking about trusting God. He said, “I know, I told myself I had already learned that lesson, to trust God, on my mission.” We were talking about school and being behind. God always has a plan. It just might not always be what we planned or desired no matter how good those desires are. I love those talks with Casey. They are so real and fulfilling. He lets me inside his heart!  

Rebekah is one of a kind! (They all are😉) She has the most contagious smile! She has endured years of heart-wrenching private trials. Trials that consisted of daily tears and hurt. Yet through them all, she continued to wear that bright, contagious smile.

Porter has begun to open his heart to me. He is a fabulous kid with a heart of gold. I hope we can grow together these next couple years. I love watching him in his element... rock climbing! He is talented and dedicated. He his a gentleman in the making. 

Samantha... I could not have asked for a better first! She is a fantastic oldest sister. She loves her sibling with such goodness!! She is their number one fan. I look forward to watching her grow into the role of mother. I am confident she will be amazing (when the time comes)!

Phil has become a brother, a fantastic one. I love how he cares for Samantha! The way he comforts her is beyond endearing. He is a fabulous addition to our family. 

Spending the week with these five was emotionally demanding yet rewarding. I’m flying home now, missing them.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018


Today I swam with Victoria.  It's probably the 2nd time in a few years I've been in our pool.  The first was yesterday when I found algae in the pool and the vacuum handle broke.  I had to get in the pool to vacuum.  Today we found more algae.  After vacuuming, Victoria asked me to stay in and swim with her.  We dove for rings, played and laughed.  The hose was running and I sprayed her.  We "fought" over the hose for a while, laughing the entire time.  It was a good day and an especially good memory made with Victoria.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Sunday Shoes

I am trying to journal every day, even if it is a quick simple note.  Today I sat down in church, crossed my legs and looked down at my shoe...
if you look really close you'll also see very chipped toenails.  

Today was a good day.  I laughed! I love to laugh, really laugh.  It always feels so good, so freeing.  

Monday, April 23, 2018

Long Walks

I came across a few quotes that resonated well with my soul and at the same time chastised my heart a bit...  

Russel M Nelson said, "The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives."  

L. Whitney Clayton said, "There may be times when we have been hurt, when we are tired, and when our lives seem dark and cold.  ...If we are willing to believe, if we desire to believe, if we choose to believe, then the Savior's teachings and example will show us the pathway forward."  

Ryan and I have been walking a lot since the weather has improved.  6 miles gives us a good amount of time to talk and hash things through.  One particular morning, after a few rough days, Ryan asked as we walked, "Do you have hope for our marriage?" At that moment my tired, hurting heart wanted to say no. But those quotes kept running through my head.  I chose my words carefully.  I responded, "I have complete confidence and hope in God's abilities.  I don't have hope in my abilities."  He asked, "What do you mean?"  We had a good open conversation but at one point things went south.  We weren't understanding each other and old cycles started.  In that moment I blurted out, "I can't do what God is asking me to do.  I don't have hope in my abilities, I can't do it."  I started walking faster and Ryan trailed a little behind.  We walked in silence for a bit.  Then I heard him softly say, "Alone you can't." inferring that with Christ I could do what God was asking.  Again, L. Whitney Clayton's words rang in my ears.  My heart softened and we continued our walk side by side.  We talked more, shared our hearts and came home content with where we were that day.

I do trust our Heavenly Father and have complete confidence in His and our Savior's abilities.  I know He can heal Ryan and my hearts.  The "pathway forward" is there... it may take us a long time but I know that it is possible.  The difficulty comes in following that path.  Sometimes I don't want to forgive completely.  Sometimes I am terrified of opening up.  But when I really listen and take notice, I see His hand in our marriage.  Thoughts come and love beyond my own for Ryan is felt.  I cherish those moments, knowing that He is walking this path with us.  

Monday, February 12, 2018


My family, my best friends.
Loving fun laughs, trips, and countless
hours spent together.
Enjoying fun activities together.

My faith,
Always trusting and turning to God.
Every Sunday morning
Dressed in my Sunday best.

My determination,
Overcoming every hurdle
Along the way.

Trusting in the process.

...and this

I am a Geddes
Who enjoys her family
and loves to have fun
I am hard working
and easy going
I am the funny family stories
and the teasing comments

I am the early morning runs
and muscles that feel like flimsy noodles
yet rock hard
I am a runner
I am the mountainous uphills
and the 5k filled saturdays
I am the endless laps on a black, hot tracks
and running till you die

I am an adventurer
and outdoorsy
I am on the chilly, white mountains in the winter
ans mosquito filled camping trips in the summer

I am the blonde
who is clumsy
and oblivious
I am quick to laugh and joke
even about myself

I used to be shy
and reserved
but now I am open and confident

I am Rebekah Geddes