HILARIOUS...

I have to share this story... I heard it first hand, it's all true!

So this guy wakes up & has a monster case of diarrhea.  It sounds like explosions going off into the toilet.  The poor guy barely gets his pants up before sitting back down for another go.  After an hour of the up & down game he gets a short reprieve.   However, 30 minutes later there he goes again... literally!  He has to work today... no sick days for this guy.  I feel sorry for anyone he comes in contact with.  So, like a true eagle scout he packs his bag with an extra set of underwear & clothes.  Off he heads to work.  He has a quick errand to run.  Uh-oh, he doesn't quite make it to work... Into the bathroom, changes quickly & stuffs a bit of toilet paper where the sun don't shine for some much needed insurance.  A little bit later he can tell the toilet paper is coming in handy but is surprised because he didn't feel any "leaks".  Runs to the bathroom & finds blood... at least it wasn't fecal matter.  Heads to a room that stocks feminine hygiene pads & swipes 2.  He puts one in place & is relieved for the rest of the day.  Heads home & his wife asks how the day was... "any accidents?"  He recounts the morning & his "good idea".  She misunderstands & thinks he said tampon... "What?  you should NOT stick things up there!"  He re-explains that it is a pad... she gets a good laugh.  Later that night he is getting ready to change pads.  He removes the paper from the sticky strip & comments on what a great product it is.  The wife looks at him a little confused.   He had stuck the sticky side of the pad to his anus.  She laughed so hard... how on earth is it suppose to absorb ANYTHING let alone hurt like *%@! when removed!  She informs him of the proper way to wear a pad... he applies it the right way & comments, "This is really loosey goosey, not very comfortable."   HMMM...hence the tampon.