Jeanie was in a negative mood last week & while talking with her it slipped through the phone to me! She's seeing rainbows this week while I am seeing dark clouds looming. I've contemplated cutting off all relationships... becoming an island in a sea of people! I tend to fail miserably with people, at least grown-ups, anyway. Ryan tends to stay put out of fear.... fear of looking like a failure! Just kidding... I am quite pleased with that relationship as well as with my siblings... we all are crazy & don't know any better than to love each other. I'm convinced that is why God created families! I remember reading something on a personality test I once took, it went something like this... you don't tend to have lasting relationships. I immediately thought about the single friend from H.S. I keep in semi-touch with, the single friend from college I really miss, the dear friend & parachute during Ryan's residency I talk to about twice a year & finally the single gal from KY that I keep tabs on. I am not one for long-lasting deep relationships. I tend to get disappointed easily & have exceptionally high, possibly unmeetable, expectations... a bit insane which leads to the "no lasting relationships". I am also struggling with the unhappy kid syndrome! I am surrendering to the skittle! Ten little skittles on the piano... every wine, pout, complaint... I eat a skittle. Ten little skittles in my pocket... every cry, yell, scream, disobedient behavior... I eat a skittle. Ten little skittles in a jar... no piano, NO SKITTLES! Isn't that disgusting... Ten little skittles have more power over my 6 rascals than I. Ryan, Casey, Sam, & I are sitting down this weekend at the bargaining table... believe me there won't be much bargaining! We are hammering out behavior contracts... we'll see how that goes.
So my gratitude journal for today...
1. I didn't hit a dear this year.
2. My car has 130K miles & I've only replaced the brakes, a water pump & hose.
3. Ryan is still employed & has more available shifts to work than workable.
4. It is sunny today... tomorrow & the next!
5. Sisters... all kinds, they will always get you through & tell ya to pull your head out.
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