A few moments in time.... that seem as if they would last a LIFE time!
Round 1: Casey is upset that he finished his jobs earlier in the day & is asked to help with others... who chose to play. After a major meltdown I send him to his room. Instead of obeying he follows me to the craft room. I am cleaning & he obsessively asks me, "MOM, can you hear me?" followed with 3 tiny taps on my shoulder over & over & OVER again! I keep telling myself, "Don't listen to him, ignore him." then resort to, "he's not here, he's not here, he's not here!" I made it 45 minutes... that's how long it took for me to interact with him minus my temper. I was quite proud of myself. All ended peaceably... no loss of life or limb.
Round 2: Sassy Sam has taken up residence in Samantha's room. We are talking full on teenage Jonnette mode... well, not that bad. (I have moments of great remorse thinking of all the times I was so disrespectful, sassy, even belligerent with my parents. I am surprised I lived through those years... if I was my child there would have been loss of life, limbS at the very least!) I have to admit on this ONE occasion Samantha was in the right, letter of the law speaking. However, spirit of the law was TOTALLY on my side. And for a black & white mother... she was completely wrong! It didn't help that I was emotionally vested in the situation either. After going round & round I finally threw up my hands & went to my room. I tend to do that a lot lately. Later I apologized for "attacking" her and explained I should have discussed things with her first. I am learning over & over & OVER again that I am only a guide now. I remember reading in a parenting book that you pull the reigns tight as toddlers, teaching them HOW to make good choices. Slowly, as they grow & learn you loosen the reigns. So many times as parents we want to do the reverse. I find myself repeating the same phrase lately, "I am sorry "so & so" won't "x" but I can't make them do/stop/change/etc. They have to choose." For a controlling mom, that's been a bit difficult. I am learning, ever so slowly, I don't have complete control. I can encourage, discuss, persuade, etc. but ultimately, they have to choose. We'll see how things go!?
Round 3: Ended with a permanent swishing sound coming from the back window! Casey went postal. Ryan picked him up & put him in the car as I engaged the child locks. I watched as Casey kicked the side window full force with both feet, it giving way to the force, bending away from the car. I thought for sure he'd be emptying out his savings account in order to replace the window. Ryan dropped him off at Jeanie's. But not before pulling off the road 3 times yelling at him to stop. Casey had pulled the headrest off & was beating everything within his reach, leaving multiple gouge marks in the interior door. After getting yelled at & hit with saliva droplets, Casey then started screaming, "YOU SPIT ON ME... YOU SPIT ON ME..." Ryan pulled into Jeanie's drive & Casey regains his composure... walks in, hides until Ryan is gone then rides to school with Uncle Kasey. He comes home that afternoon perfectly normal, helps out as if nothing happened. Sometimes I think I am the really crazy one!
Knock-Out: Thanksgiving weekend to be spent with cousins in Texas... or so we thought! We pack the car & head out. Rebekah having already vomited we thought we were safe to go. An hour into our 8 hour drive she is still moaning like crazy and vomits. Porter begins to chime in. An hour & a half into our drive Porter fills a HUGE Tupperware bowl. 2 hours have past, we turn around and head home, stopping twice to empty Porter's bowl. As Samantha said, "That's the longest trip to nowhere I've ever taken!" We spent the holiday working on our wood pile, watching Despicable Me at the dollar theater, eating yummy food with family, working on our wood pile some more, playing football and having a great time together.
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