We've had family for the past 2 weeks off and on. My mom left this afternoon after washing and folding every piece of laundry in my laundry room. I had towels up to the ceiling! That's what happens when there are 27 kids in 1 house, a pool & hot tub for the weekend! The kids loved every minute they had with cousins. The last of the Geddes' took off Tuesday around 1pm and my mom arrived Wednesday around 5pm. The house is nearly put back together and I am in need of a bit of sleep. These allergies are kicking my tail again this year. What life would be like without the inconveniences of allergies! I am struggling a bit with this blog. In the past it has been a journal... of all my struggles as a mother! The struggles tended to be with the kids and me. Those struggles are changing and I'm not sure how to write about them. I want the kids to know the struggles I've had and those things that have helped me most. I'm not quite sure how to go about it. My goal is to make more of an effort to journal each week. So...
This past week after conference I was thinking about a lot of things. The talks were exactly what I needed to hear. I was thinking about life and the purpose of it. I can't really comprehend the love our Heavenly Father has for each of us. As a mortal parent I don't have the capacity to love like He does. I adore my children and love each one of them immensely. However, at times I appreciate some of my children's behaviors more than others. At times I wonder, "How can Heavenly Father not appreciate obedient behaviors more than disobedient behaviors?" Then a few thoughts came to my mind. What if I took all 6 of my children dropped them off in the woods and gave them directions and things they needed to get home? How would I feel if they didn't help each other? What if one was strictly obedient and diligent but didn't stop to help one of her sisters or brothers that had been hurt? What if one was so focused on the map they didn't notice when another was cold and hungry? I would be so sad and disappointed. It would tear my heart in two seeing them only worry about themselves. What happiness I would feel seeing a child wait on or look for another that had somehow gotten lost on a wrong path. I started thinking about all of us... we are all here as brothers and sisters. He is watching us, hoping we will help each other along the way so that each of us makes it home. How disappointed He must be in me when I get so focused on things of little worth and don't take the time to listen to the quiet promptings of the Holy Ghost. I saw a few homeless people this past week. The first one I drove by and watched in my rear view mirror as a man handed money out his window as he drove on. In the past I have wonder if they will use the money wisely. As I watched this good man's example it pricked my heart. Who am I to judge. I should share what I have. I have plenty. The next couple times I didn't take the time to judge them. I handed the money out the window and drove on. I want to be able to stand before God and say I did my best, I did what you would have done if you were here. Thankfully, I am planning on living a very long time because heaven knows I am going to need every minute, I'm a slow learner! I want to see the good in everyone. I want to accept the good that is there and ignore everything else. I want to see others the way the Lord sees them. I want to do my best and accept that everyone else is doing their best too. Life is hard. I want to make it easier for someone. I want to love the way Christ has taught me.
Gratitude Journal:
1. A Heavenly Father that isn't afraid to tell me to "STOP IT!"
2. Apostles and prophets to lead and guide us with a touch of chastisement when needed!
3. Family that genuinely cares for each other.
4. Friends that love even when it's hard or hurts.
5. An eternal companion with an eternal perspective. How lost and lonely I would be without you Ryan. You are the love of my life. There are times I feel so much love for you my heart feels as if it will burst. I don't always show or express it but please know that it is true. You are who I lean on when I can't stand. I can't tell you the comfort I feel as you wrap your arms around me and let me bury my face in your shoulder. I love you and am SO grateful I have you.
Comments
Love you.
Melanie