Happy Mother's Day! In the past this has been one of my least favorite days of the year. As my expectations have diminished and my eyes opened to what motherhood really is I've come to enjoy the day more. It started last night as I was getting kids to bed. Porter was crying because he didn't have enough time to make a mother's day gift... he remembered right before bed. Isabelle, trying to comfort Porter, commented, "Mother's Day snuck up on all of us this year!" As I tucked Porter into bed the tears were streaming down his face. I asked him if he knew what I REALLY wanted for mother's day. He wanted to make me a present! I asked him if his gift was for him or me. If it was really for me, I would love for him to be happy all day. That caused more tears and sobs of "I can't do it, it's too hard." I reminded him of the day he earned his "How to Train Your Dragon" book. He was SO happy and delightful that day. If he could do it for a book, he could do it for me. He agreed. This morning I awoke to children fighting over who was making me breakfast... I had eggs, toast & jam, oatmeal, milk, more eggs and orange juice. It was all delicious! Later, Victoria was screaming because she didn't want to take a shower. Ryan left early with a couple kids. The rest of us arrived to church late. After church we had corn dogs! Ryan took a nap, he had to be to work at 8pm. Porter was bellering because the burn on his thumb. He started on a gift this morning and burned his thumb with the hot glue gun. I talk him into snuggling with me in my bed. I knew if he would just lay down he would get a much needed nap. As I laid down I found a sweet note from Rebekah. She had made my bed and left the note tucked in my pillow. We slept all afternoon. Ryan got up, we read scriptures and off he went to work. I got the kids all tucked in and breathed a sigh of relief. I think for the first time ever, I did not lose my temper on Mother's Day! Life as a mother, for me, is an absolute roller coaster ride. I love riding roller coasters. The funny thing about them, you wait in these crazy long lines during hot summer days for a ride that lasts minutes at the most. Motherhood is a lot of long lines and hot sweaty days. But the joys that come are like those drops and loops of a roller coaster, there is nothing else like them. I love my kids. I love the people they are becoming. I love the person they are shaping me into. I'm not sure what I would do without them. They are teaching me all that really matters in this life. Isabelle asked me to give her a massage tonight as I tucked her in. She got upset when I told her I would snuggle her instead. I explained that sometimes I am really overwhelmed. There is always someone that isn't happy with me, I am mean, I don't cook the right food, their laundry isn't done, they hate me, I am a bad mom. So some nights all I can do is lay beside you and snuggle you. She listened and thought, then rolled over with a smile and started telling me all about her week. We are all growing.
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