71* Dec. 27, 2008

"Where's your mom?"
Sam: She's sick
person walks away
Casey: You shouldn't lie.  You should say she isn't feeling well.
Victoria: Mom's not sick!
Isabelle: Yes she is, (smirking) sick of people.

My brother, his new wife and mom came for a visit this weekend and I fell apart.  The adversary has wreaked havoc in my head.  I am becoming this bitter, miserable, hateful person.  I'm believing all the lies he's whispering in my ear.  I can't see straight.  I'm either crying or mad at the world.  This weekend I decided to stay in bed for 48 hours straight.  I slept, thought, cried, got mad, thought some more and gave up.  My mom left in tears.  After spending the day at Jeanie's visiting and watching old family movies, the kids returned home and informed me: Grandma, Aaron & Carolyn are on their way out to say goodbye.  They are coming in here (my room).  So, if you are in your underwear you better put some clothes on.  I put some close on.  I walked out and the tears came gushing out.  Aaron wrapped me in his arms and loved me.  

Tressa was understanding and kind, choosing not to be offended by my idiocy.  Instead showing such love.   

Earlier in the day my mom kept coming in to check on me.  Each time leaving kisses on my face and head with a soft, "Jonnette, I love you".  She climbed in to bed at one point snuggling and kissing me.  She is where I learned to love and comfort my kids.   

So today I got out of bed.  And I made it better than yesterday.  I made plans and I loved my kids.

Thanks Mom!  The kids loved having clean clothes, waffles for breakfast and soup in their lunches.  Thank-you for loving me.  I love you!