Day 362
Ryan and I are driving to Utah today pulling a uhaul trailer full of furniture for the condo we are buying. We close Tuesday morning. The weather doesn’t look great; snow, ice and wind through Nebraska and Wyoming. We will need to take it slow. There are lots of thoughts running through my head. Last night I asked porter if he wanted me to wake him up to say goodbye. He asked what time then after hearing 4AM said no. I joked, “It could be the last time you say goodbye.” He looked at me and then a conversation of what if’s took place. I told him Jeanie would fill that void. He went on to jokingly express he needed me to play with him and showed me how... we laughed. So... a few thoughts:
Sam- keep learning and growing. Life is tough but you are strong and have all you need to weather the storms. Don’t miss out on the joy of living and breathing. Find it in the simplest gifts God has blessed all of us with; the sunrise, sunset, wind on your face, raindrops, a tight hug, a soft kiss, your creative ability, the warm sun, a cold day wrapped in a warm coat and gloves, fresh fallen snow, and so many more. Take time to meditate and keep practicing being present. Live in the present. Don’t bring the anxiety of the past or future into your “right now.” Right now, you are ok! I love you!! Keep loving your siblings and keep showing up in your marriage. Learn what it means to choose Phil and choose him everyday. Love, mom
Phil- keep taking care of our sweet Sam. Keep learning and growing. Let God teach you the things He has in store for you to learn. Find joy in the little things in life. So often they are the things that matters most. You are a kind hearted forgiving person that adds so much to our family. I appreciate the goodness that is in you and that you share with us. Love, naenae
Casey-learn humility, it will bring so much peace to your life. You have so much to offer but with that comes a lot of fine tuning. God will take care of that, be patient in the process. It will hurt... a LOT, but you will make it through as long as you keep choosing to trust. Find contentment in doing your best, no matter the grade or level of “success”. There is so much more to life than a gpa. Excel in the things that have eternal consequences; loving, forgiving, trusting, enduring, lifting, comforting. Learn temperance, meekness and long suffering. They will bring you true and lasting peace. Keep learning how to love your siblings and family well. Show up everyday as a husband and eventually father. Learn to let go of the past and live today, right now in the present. Recognize the many gifts God has blessed you with, even this dysfunctional crazy family. Love, mom
Kate- keep loving that nutty husband of yours! Build something together that will bring both of you so much joy and peace. You have a unique ability to jump into life and go with it. Don’t be afraid to voice you. She will grow, possibly change, but eventually develop into a strong woman that will be a huge strength to her husband and future family. Trust her and always let her have a voice. Love, naenae
Rebekah-keep laughing and smiling! You are a ray of sunshine that grunts once in a while. I miss those grunts and pouty face. Always trust that God is there, walking along with you no matter the path you find yourself on. Sometimes it seems as though He has abandoned us, He hasn’t and He won’t. Find Him in the simple things that speak to your soul. Choose to trust every day, every moment. Laugh and let the tears fall. Keep checking in with yourself emotionally and naming what you feel. Always be that kind, loving sister that so easily forgives and always accepts. You have a gift! A gift that brings so much goodness and love into our home. Love, mom
Isabelle- read the cliff notes! You are so much like me. God does have a plan. That plan is for you to return to Him. Sometimes the hardest experiences are the very things that will help us grow and develop “muscles” we didn’t know we had. I am so proud of how hard you work and how well you listen. Trust yourself to make decisions. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what decision you make but once made be true to it. Be true to who God has asked you to be. That doesn’t mean to be perfect. But it does mean to keep trying. Recognize your weaknesses and keep working to over come them. Have faith in His grace and enabling power. It’s real and vital. Be your best self and find peace and contentment in her. Love, mom
Porter-“YOU ARE THE BEST” (in my nutty accent) Never stop playing or laughing. You have a lot of big emotions. Remember, you are not your emotions or thoughts. They will come and eventually go. Let them go. Build a relationship with your Heavenly Father. That relationship has the ability to carry you through the darkest of storms. I am proud of you and am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned being your mom. You push me to grow. You challenge my abilities. I am a better mom and person because of you. I know you believe in Jesus Christ. Believe Him, and His teachings. Choose to have integrity to those teachings. Have faith, repent, listen and keep trying. You have a lot to offer. I will love you forever, no matter what! Love, mom
Victoria- my beautiful spunky baby! Your gifts are incredible. They will bring you so much joy as well as all those around you. Develop them, don’t let the adversary interfere with them. You are such a support and help. I love snuggling with you, picking you up from school and just being with you. It’s hard being the youngest. Remember how much your siblings love you. Remember you have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior that will walk this life with you. They will always be there. That won’t make life easy or void of hard things but They are there. Learn to hear the voice of the spirit. Spend time in your scriptures, at the temple and meditating. You will find a strength and peace that will help you through all life throws at you. You are LOVED!! Love, mom
I love you all so much!! Love each other well.
Sam- keep learning and growing. Life is tough but you are strong and have all you need to weather the storms. Don’t miss out on the joy of living and breathing. Find it in the simplest gifts God has blessed all of us with; the sunrise, sunset, wind on your face, raindrops, a tight hug, a soft kiss, your creative ability, the warm sun, a cold day wrapped in a warm coat and gloves, fresh fallen snow, and so many more. Take time to meditate and keep practicing being present. Live in the present. Don’t bring the anxiety of the past or future into your “right now.” Right now, you are ok! I love you!! Keep loving your siblings and keep showing up in your marriage. Learn what it means to choose Phil and choose him everyday. Love, mom
Phil- keep taking care of our sweet Sam. Keep learning and growing. Let God teach you the things He has in store for you to learn. Find joy in the little things in life. So often they are the things that matters most. You are a kind hearted forgiving person that adds so much to our family. I appreciate the goodness that is in you and that you share with us. Love, naenae
Casey-learn humility, it will bring so much peace to your life. You have so much to offer but with that comes a lot of fine tuning. God will take care of that, be patient in the process. It will hurt... a LOT, but you will make it through as long as you keep choosing to trust. Find contentment in doing your best, no matter the grade or level of “success”. There is so much more to life than a gpa. Excel in the things that have eternal consequences; loving, forgiving, trusting, enduring, lifting, comforting. Learn temperance, meekness and long suffering. They will bring you true and lasting peace. Keep learning how to love your siblings and family well. Show up everyday as a husband and eventually father. Learn to let go of the past and live today, right now in the present. Recognize the many gifts God has blessed you with, even this dysfunctional crazy family. Love, mom
Kate- keep loving that nutty husband of yours! Build something together that will bring both of you so much joy and peace. You have a unique ability to jump into life and go with it. Don’t be afraid to voice you. She will grow, possibly change, but eventually develop into a strong woman that will be a huge strength to her husband and future family. Trust her and always let her have a voice. Love, naenae
Rebekah-keep laughing and smiling! You are a ray of sunshine that grunts once in a while. I miss those grunts and pouty face. Always trust that God is there, walking along with you no matter the path you find yourself on. Sometimes it seems as though He has abandoned us, He hasn’t and He won’t. Find Him in the simple things that speak to your soul. Choose to trust every day, every moment. Laugh and let the tears fall. Keep checking in with yourself emotionally and naming what you feel. Always be that kind, loving sister that so easily forgives and always accepts. You have a gift! A gift that brings so much goodness and love into our home. Love, mom
Isabelle- read the cliff notes! You are so much like me. God does have a plan. That plan is for you to return to Him. Sometimes the hardest experiences are the very things that will help us grow and develop “muscles” we didn’t know we had. I am so proud of how hard you work and how well you listen. Trust yourself to make decisions. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what decision you make but once made be true to it. Be true to who God has asked you to be. That doesn’t mean to be perfect. But it does mean to keep trying. Recognize your weaknesses and keep working to over come them. Have faith in His grace and enabling power. It’s real and vital. Be your best self and find peace and contentment in her. Love, mom
Porter-“YOU ARE THE BEST” (in my nutty accent) Never stop playing or laughing. You have a lot of big emotions. Remember, you are not your emotions or thoughts. They will come and eventually go. Let them go. Build a relationship with your Heavenly Father. That relationship has the ability to carry you through the darkest of storms. I am proud of you and am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned being your mom. You push me to grow. You challenge my abilities. I am a better mom and person because of you. I know you believe in Jesus Christ. Believe Him, and His teachings. Choose to have integrity to those teachings. Have faith, repent, listen and keep trying. You have a lot to offer. I will love you forever, no matter what! Love, mom
Victoria- my beautiful spunky baby! Your gifts are incredible. They will bring you so much joy as well as all those around you. Develop them, don’t let the adversary interfere with them. You are such a support and help. I love snuggling with you, picking you up from school and just being with you. It’s hard being the youngest. Remember how much your siblings love you. Remember you have a loving Heavenly Father and Savior that will walk this life with you. They will always be there. That won’t make life easy or void of hard things but They are there. Learn to hear the voice of the spirit. Spend time in your scriptures, at the temple and meditating. You will find a strength and peace that will help you through all life throws at you. You are LOVED!! Love, mom
I love you all so much!! Love each other well.
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