Counseling Notes Session Two
I've learned a few things. Ryan and I have a typical over-functioning / under-functioning marriage.
Both are equally immature.
I learned about locus of control.
- Seeing what I am doing is the pathway to knowing how to do better
- See clearly what I am doing
- Stop participating in a pattern that is destructive
- I have to see how parts of me have wanted to be in this destructive behavior
- Not just saying the words, but inhabiting the mind that says the words.
- "I know in the past I have given off a lot of anger and I'm sure I'm a tough person to kiss because you can feel all my resentment and I have not handled my anger well or constructively in this marriage so I can see why you are asking me even though it's not very sexy when you do."
- I have to find my part and own it.
- "I want a good relationship with you and I want a good sexual relationship with you but you coming to me for me to kiss you is a way of saying "I want things to be as they have been. I want the reassurance that I'm ok not, I want an intimate relationship with you, Jonnette." and I don't want to be apart of that. It's not that I don't want an intimate relationship with you, I don't want to keep playing out this dynamic."
- I am going to work on how to be stronger without being full of contempt.
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