Todays Doctor's Visit

It's been five months since the accident. We thought the collar would come off two months ago, then again a month ago, and now today. But instead, I had a heart to heart with my neurosurgeon. He told me he was concerned with the instability of my neck. He said, "It would be easy for me to take you to surgery. It's two hours of my time. But I think it is worth waiting and seeing." I would lose over 60% of my neck mobility. That would make snowboarding difficult! So, he came up with a plan. I am in the neck collar for three more months. After that, we get an MRI, and if it looks good, the collar comes off, period. Then we see how things progress. Hopefully, the stability issue resolves itself, and I go on to live life on my terms. If not, surgery. 

We talked, I asked him on a scale of one to ten how bad was my injury. He said my injury without neurological deficits would put it at a six or seven. But he quickly added, "You have such a large spinal canal. It protected the spinal cord." I asked what the outcome would have been with a typical spinal canal. He replied, "The force of the impact was so severe it tore all of your ligaments in your neck, it dissected your vertebral artery. You are very lucky! The outcome would have been life-changing or fatal." He went on to tell me I have to give my body time to heal, no impact activities for at least a year. 

My faith has changed a lot over the past few years. I like to think in a positive way. I've stopped looking to God to fix all my problems or viewing my obedience as an insurance policy against suffering. I've stopped complaining about how life should be and started accepting Buddha's belief, "Life is suffering." As my mindset changed, it made room to recognize and be grateful for all the goodness in my life. It has been amazing the goodness that I have experienced these past five months. Not because I deserve it or earned it but because it just is. 

1. I was born with an overly large spinal canal.

2. I have a wonderful family that continues to pick up the slack.

3. I have enjoyed the solitude that has come from a temporary life-altering injury and a worldwide pandemic.

4. I am walking around living life "normally."

5. I have a doctor who puts my active lifestyle ahead of the ease of a procedure. 

6. I have yet to ask, "Why did this have to happen?" This is possibly the greatest goodness/miracle. I have felt so much calm from the very moment the accident happened. And that is not normal! I remember seeing my tire start to veer off the wooden roller and saying, "It's ok; you've got this." I'm not sure what the final outcome will be, but I have confidence in God that He will strengthen me through it. He will see me through it, always reminding me... It's ok; you've got this.