Thoughts...

I was reading a conference talk to Victoria the other morning while waiting to drop her off. We had arrived a bit early and had some time to spare. As I read the following passage I choked up, barely getting through the last sentence. 

There is a thing that sometimes happens that is hard to achieve and hard to define. It’s called “swing.” It happens only when all are rowing in such perfect unison that not a single action is out of sync. 

Rowers must rein in their fierce independence

and 

at the same time hold true to their individual capabilities. 

Races are not won by clones. 

Good crews are good blends—

someone to lead the charge,
someone to hold something in reserve,
someone to fight the fight, 

someone to make peace. 

No rower is more valuable than another, 

all are assets to the boat, 

but if they are to row well together, 

each must adjust to the needs and capabilities of the others—

the shorter-armed person reaching a little farther, 

the longer-armed person pulling in just a bit. 

Differences can be turned to advantage instead of disadvantage. 

Only then will it feel as if the boat is moving on its own. 

Only then does pain entirely give way to exultation. 

Good “swing” feels like poetry.

Against towering obstacles, this team found perfect swing and won. The Olympic gold was exhilarating, but the unity each rower experienced that day was a holy moment that stayed with them all their lives.

It made me think of our family. We have so many unique personalities with strengths and weaknesses. 

Each individual must rein in their fierce independence and at the same time hold true to their individual capabilities. Families are not created by clones. Happy families are good blends-- someone to lead the charge, someone to hold something in reserve, someone to fight the fight, someone to make peace. No member is more valuable than another, all are assets to the family, but if we are to function well together, each must adjust to the needs and capabilities of the others-- the "shorter-armed" person reaching a little farther, the "longer-armed" person pulling in just a bit. Differences can be turned to advantage instead of contention. Only then will if feel as if our family is flying. Only then does pain entirely give way to exultation. Good "swing" feels like Heaven.

I'm sure this takes years of practice. And each time we add another member to our family it will take time for adjustments. We will need to adjust to the new strengths and weaknesses and they will need to adjust to a whole new group of people that live and love big. This can be overwhelming. But hopefully we will all adjust a little here and there and eventually we will find that "swing".